FOMWAN  Kaduna Commences Marriage Counseling …Trains Would-be And Married Couples

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ZAINAB TANIMU
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FOMWAN  Kaduna Commences Marriage Counseling …Trains Would-be And Married Couples

Zainab Tanimu

Kaduna, North – West, Nigeria

FOMWAN Kaduna Branch has put in place Marriage Counseling Committee to help solve problems associated with marriages.
The training which will last for 9weeks is meant to equip would – be, married couples, and spinsters with the necessary marital skills of ensuring a successful married life.
The Amira FOMWAN Kaduna Branch, Pharm. Aisha Isiyaku disclosed this during the inaugural lecture held at Sultan Bello Mosque, Kaduna.
In his lecture, Chief Imam Sultan Bello Masjid Kaduna, Sheikh Dr Muhammad Sulaiman emphasized on the need for a woman to marry once she gets to marriageable age in order to avoid living a promiscuous life.
He described marriage as sacred and a lifelong commitment. Teachings concerning marriage therefore should be strictly adhered to. He advised.
Explaining what lslam says about marriage,
“There has not been created any institution in Islam which is more favored and dearer to Allah than marriage.
Marriage is mentioned many times in the Qur’an, which Muslims believe is the word of God, as revealed to Prophet Muhammad, (SAW).
There are teachings on marriage and qualities to look out for in a potential Muslim spouse. One of such qualities is for one to be religious and God fearing. He emphasized.
Taqwa (Piety). A spouse with good manners, common sense and reason is also desirable.
Marrying a spouse who is religious and God fearing, will mean raising a religious and God fearing family. He added.
Though it is not out of place to look out for physical appearance, but it is important to ensure that there is compatibility.
Representing Her Excellency, Hajiya Hadiza Isma  El-Rufai,  the Commissioner, Women Affairs Hajiya Afsat Muhammed Baba charged the women to be committed to the upbringing of their children.
“Counselling is one of the important pillars that addresses a lot of issues before marriage and during marriage. My advise to parents is that they should train their children well if they are going into marriage because they are going into a new life completely different from what they are used to. They are going to set up their own home, so as husband and wife, they need to understand themselves, their commitments to each other, how to bring up children that are well mannered in the society.
For the youth that are not married, they need to be careful with their selections she said.
The Director, Human Services, Hajiya Saadatu in her speech called on women to take their responsibilities seriously.  As mothers and home makers the upbringing of the children solely rests on them. They must be there at every point to guide their children. She stated.
According to her, marriage is not a child’s play and therefore, there is need to take into cognisance some marital steps before going into marriage.
Some of these include knowing who you want to marry, why do you want to marry? Knowing the family; Are you really ready for the marriage? If these things are ignored, there is bound to be problems. There is more to it than one just saying, “l want to marry.”  She advised.
Fielding questions from journalists shortly after the lecture, Pham. Aisha
said it has become necessary to organize such lecture considering the prevailing circumstances in the society today where most marriages hit the rocks.
The nine weeks training she said is aimed at educating would-be and married couples on the nitty-gritty of maintaining a healthy marital home.  By this, the society will be a better place to live in.
“We look at the situation our youth are now, not only the youth, Muslim ummah generally. Marriages are collapsing. You find some youth a week after marrying, they start developing problems. So we decided to have a training for pre – marital and even post – marital, like a counseling center so that issues can be resolved without divorce.
As to why many marriages collapse, some of these marriages she said are not conducted according to sharia.

“We believe that the basic reason is that marriages are not conducted according to sharia, the way Islam states that we should marry. Secondly, the children are not properly trained on the responsibilities that come with marriage.

People look at marriage as a process kind of. Right from when a child is  being conceived, the mother should be very prayerful, and after delivery, she should train the child to be responsible adult. I must say force marriage is also a contributing factor. So, these are the things we are looking at and we have lectures like this where we invite elders of the community so that they get to know these problems and try to solve them.
The Amira called for community support by enrolling their children for the training as a way of getting things to how it was before.
” Let’s join hands in training our youth. If you see a child or a couple doing something wrong in your community, you don’t just keep quiet. Let’s be our brothers keepers. Most of all let’s study our religion and try and follow the path of Prophet Mohammed SAW.
The next lecture she said promises to be more exciting as certified lecturers, psychologists, counsellors,and lmams to put them through. The forms are available at the FOMWAN office. She added.
Speaking, the Chairperson, Marriage Counselling Committee, Hajiya Fatima Atiku Mustapha expatiating further said the commencement of the Marriage Counselling and Premarital Training will
strengthen couples understanding of what marriage is all about.
“Our aim is to make people understand what the Quran and Hadith says about marriage. Both men and women need to understand the religion Islam as being taught by Prophet Muhammed SAW.
There is need that we attend lectures and seminars like this that will broaden our knowledge on issues of importance. Like what FOMWAN has put in place to educate us on issues such as  divorce and other marital  issues that are germane to ensuring a happy married life.
FOMWAN organization, being an organization of women therefore deemed it fit to form marriage counseling committee with a view to educating both men and women on the  guiding principles concerning lslamic
marriage.
The major challenge of the committee she said is finance because for the committee to realize the purpose for which it is set up, it will from time to time need the services of experts to educate the people on issues.
” Finance is our major challenge. We need money. FOMWAN is the one shouldering the burden”. She said.
However, the kaduna North local government Chairman, Mutar Lawal Baloni has expressed willingness to partner  FOMWAN in this course.

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Hajiya Fatima in her call urged both men and women to exhibit good conduct by following the injunctions of the Quran and Hadith in order to live a life that will lead them to paradise.
Women Affairs Secretary, Natural Lahil-L-Fatih Society (NASFAT) Kaduna, Hajiya Kudirat Akande has described FOMWAN’s  initiative as a step in the right direction. saying, –
“I am really overwhelmed. So many marriages today are conducted without proper understanding of what marriage is all about.
Kudirat attributed  lack of proper understanding of what  lslam says about marriage as reason why we have lots of broken homes.
 This is why we have so many problems in our homes. That is why we have broken homes, broken marriages, and you see children being abandoned.
 “So if this kind of lecture is being organized regularly, we will be able to put on track these young ones coming up to get married. If they know what it really entails to get married and the blessings  that is there, and how Allah has enjoined us to do it, l am sure marriage will be a life time thing.
Some people get married based on face value attraction. What Islam says about marriage, they don’t know. For the fact that l am attracted to you and you are attracted to me we just get married. Not until you get home and then discover that he/she is not my kind of person.
By the time people really know what it takes to get married, that you have to get prepared for it, be it polygamy or monogamy. I am sure things will be better.
There are some monogamous marriages (one man, one wife) despite it is  one man, one wife that are not doing well which the lecturer stressed while delivering his lecture. And there are some marriages with one man and many women and are doing well or vice-vasa.
She urged parents to educate and guide their children because they will be accountable on how they were brought up. Many children go into marriage based on face value. ‘You like me, l like you’ while some are materialistic in nature.

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