Book Lunch: Women Are Treasures – Barrister Ruth Godwin … there is gold in their hearts

By
ZAINAB TANIMU
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Book Lunch: Women Are Treasures – Barrister Ruth Godwin
… there is gold in their hearts
Zainab Tanimu
Kaduna, Northwest, Nigeria
A lawyer turned writer, Barrister Ruth Godwin is a Human Rights and Development Advocate in Nigeria whose flare revolves around women issues.
Easy going, eloquent and determined Ruth is living no stone unturned in her quest to fighting the course of women.
In her book “Despised Treasure”, she tries to project the values in a woman. Her God given values which some societal norms have hindered her from exhibiting.
She described the woman as treasured gold so valuable but yet being marginalized and oppressed by the world over especially in Africa.
 In this brief interview with Hajiya Zainab Tanimu of Newsreservoir held shortly after the book lunch in Kaduna, she opened up on her flare for writing and reason for giving the book such title.
Excerpt.
How would you explain the tears running down the cheeks of the woman on the cover of your book?
“The tears are not just ordinary water. The tears signify gold because the woman has gold in her heart but because the society has not recognized that gold and has refused to allow her to exploit her gold, she is now wasting the gold in pains through tears. That is what the tears signify. Seeing the tears you will notice that it is coloured gold.
Why this title?
Why l have chosen this title for the book is because women are supposed to be treasured in the society. They have lots of potentials. If only our society will give us the chance, we will exploit those potentials, those treasures and the society will be a better place for us. You see, our society has refused or will l say they pretend not to recognize that treasure or they just close their eyes and could not see that treasure and that is why l named it, ‘despised treasure’. The treasure is despised by the society.
Did you encounter any challenge in the course of writing this book? If any, what would you say is the challenge?
The stories in the book are true live stories. Some of the challenges is in the area of information gathering. Some of the women refused to open up even though they are going through a lot but they decide to be quite.
You will notice that l started my story as a girl child.
Some of them are afraid they might be labeled as rebel or stigmatized. They are just ashamed because the society might look at them somehow.
You can see from those that gave testimonies, they refused to show their faces but two other took a bold step to pour out their hearts. You could see that while they were giving their testimonies, they were weeping. Not many women can do that.
What will be your call to the women?
My call is, they should try and speak out because problems shared is half solved.
If only they will speak out, they will discover that they are not the only one going through such problems and they will be able to get people that have gone through such and are able to come out of it.
Like what happened today, we all wept together, laugh together and danced together. That will help them instead of keeping quiet.
The testimony of Engr. Ada is really a touchy one. Her education not withstanding, she was being despised.
According to Engineer Ada she got married to her husband against her parents wish. If she had listened to them, she would not have gone through such terrible experience in the name of marriage.
Here is her ordeal.  A true life story, from the horses mouth.
“Our parents are more experienced than us because they have seen more days and therefore should listen to them particularly decisions that concern marriage.
People can be deceitful when they try to seek one’s hand in marriage. ln whichever deceitful manner they might come,
your mother will see the inside, your father will see the inside.
“I want to tell you that l married a wife batterer.  A man that will beat you to stupor, a man that does not care whether you are pregnant or not. He does not care whether you’re paying school fees or not. He has once told me, what are you doing with your money?  If you don’t want to pay their school fees then leave it.
That was when l told myself, you need to wake up. And that was when l told myself, if l can take care of my children  singlehandedly when l am in this man’s house, then what stops me from taking care of my children when l am living alone?
I left the marriage in sickness. I was sick for six months.
I was looking like l was a kwashiorkor patient. One mummy asked me what was wrong with me because she knows me to be a vibrant lady. I said l know you will tell me to be patient. When l opened up,  she said, l will still tell you to be patient. But he who wears the shoes know where it pinches. Nobody asked me to walk away.
I decided to walk away that same evening. When my children were admitted in the hospital and l called him, he said, “and so, what do you want me to do? He went to the doctor and looked him at the face and said, lf l don’t pay these childrens bill does not mean that l am not a man and the doctor said of course you’re not a man. If you cannot foot the bills, you’re not a man.
After they discharged the kids from the hospital, on my way home, l noticed that he had locked the apartment where we were staying. And this apartment, l am the one footing the bills. The furniture is mine. The sitting room, l furnished it. The bedroom, l furnished it, the kitchen l did. That is why l said lf you present a man to your parents and they say no, please let him go. Your pain will cost you no harm.
Ada cautioned those who are of the opinion that their parents are witches and wizards to let go such evil thought as it will lead them nowhere.
“If l had listened to my parents, l wouldn’t have been here saying this. I think God had allowed me to pass through this process because ‘He’ wanted me to use it to testify on a day like this to touch someone’s life.
If l open part of my body for you, you will see some marks all over my body.
I  tell you after l left this marriage, that dream girl, that happy girl
 that happy lady, that ambitious lady, that career woman bounced back. I am here to tell you that l have outgrown that depression. She sounded.
Many have commended Barrister Ruth
for taking such a bold step while hoping that other women will contribute in charting a way forward towards the realization of justice and enhancement of the dignity of womanhood.
According to her, she is so passionate about writing particularly women related issues.
With this experience, she is hoping to write more books.
The book reviewer Mrs Gladies Goje acknowledged the good work of the author. It is a book that takes critical look at women related issues. Such issues that border on women like that of widows which the society sees but sweeps under the carpet. She lamented.
She described the book as simple and interesting. It is a wakeup call and very relevant. She added.
“I recommend this book for you, for your sons and daughters to read and come up with questions. She said.
As for the shortcomings, the story she said is told from women’s perspective and that there is need to capture the role of men, the fathers since there are some men who love their women and sometimes you even find fathers who share special bonds with their daughters.
She urged for a second volume.
Prof. Hauwa  in her presentation had lamented the place of women in our society. She argued that we are living in a parochial society where many are exposed to lots of ill treatments.
“There are a lot of women being trampled upon, they are being despised just because she is a woman.
“The truth of the matter is, that you are educated does not mean that you are not despised. Infact some of us that are educated are more despised and the only reason that we are being despised is because you are a woman. There are lot of things you will want to do and refused to do or will not do just because you are a woman. They say that the fact that we are being despised is our handwork. Yes, we live in a patriarchial society. And the question is who are the maintenance of patriarchal society? You and l.
“We train our boy child to believe that they are superior to the girl child. Majority of mothers show disparity in the treatment of their boy and girl child right from small thus, making the boy child to feel superior than the girl child.
With this scenario, the child grows up with this believe of superiority and it  translates to his marital life. Until this is corrected, we will not get it right. She said.
She advised that parents, particularly mothers instil in their boy child right from their youthful age the culture of respecting  the girl child. There should not be rigidity as to who does what household chores on the basis of sex.
“The boy child should be encouraged and taught how to cook, should enter the kitchen.By so doing, build that love and respect between our children. That parochial attitude will not be there. When such male child gets married, he respects and appreciates his wife because it is something he has grown up with.
“To what extent have you been able to  train your boy child to become a he or she?
She disabused the mind of those parents who threaten their girl child getting married not to come back home because no place for her any longer in her home since she is married.
Such threat she said have sent many women whose marriages have failed on the streets or worst still in a living hell all in the name of marriage.
“When a marriage fails, the blame is usually on the woman. The truth is that marriage is a two way traffic, and perhaps because there are too much load we place on the men, they begin to feel overburden and they want to retaliate.
In as much as broken homes are not encouraged, a woman should not be made to suffer all in the name of marriage . She added.
Prof. Hauwa called on husbands and the society to begin to look at the woman with love and respect not only in her marital home but all sphere of endeavour.
“Many women go through hell in their marital homes. They are being despised all in the name of a woman. She is not given her rightful place as a wife.
She encouraged women to speak up to conquer the fear that is within them more so, for others to learn from their experiences in order to bring about change.
“We need to tell our stories ourselves or other people will help you tell it and will be told the way they want it. Do not stay in an abusive relationship all in the of marriage.
According to Barrister Rebecca Sako, the book she said couldn’t have come at a better time.
Speaking on the marginalization and oppression of women, she said there are some communities or cultures whereby women have little or no representation in the day to day running of affairs, even in matters that directly or indirectly affect them.
Lamenting, she argued that these ‘despised treasures’ (women) sometimes at the risks of their lives nurture and train the men even as single mothers. Women face gender bias in both legal  and microeconomic framework. she added.
Despite the fact that African women constitute the majority of workers in the informal sector of the economy, the economic, societal, as well as  traditional
beliefs are most times against them.
Barrister Sako urged mothers to begin to see clearly by giving their daughters their pride of place at an early age rather than making them look inferior to their male child.
“Women should start training their male children to respect women. Teach them to see women as their equals. If all or a good number of mothers should do that, the boomerang effect will be to change how the society treats women.”
Justice Binta Suberu who unveiled the book called on women to be supportive and should use wisdom in staying with the men.
She tries to highlight the areas in which women have challenges and the reasons for these challenges as well as the solutions to those problems. She tries to tell our men counterparts that we are not competing with anybody, we are not like try to rub shoulders ,but that we are all partners in progress in this life.
The book l must say is an excellent job. If all women can try and be putting up something that will pour out what is in their hearts, the society will be in a better place to live in.
Justice Binta also stressed on parents particularly mothers instilling in the boy child at his early age the need to respect the girl child. The child will grow up to respect women even when he marries, she said. She condemned wife battering.
The only Woman in the Kaduna state House of Assembly, Hon. Comfort Amwe however consented to the fact that women are  being despised by men which does not go down well with her but that “We  are being despised because maybe we do not give them what they deserve. Study your husband well to turn things around. She said . Giving examples of  some women who are blessed with good husbands but could not manage things well. Like that of knowing what diet he loves and at what time to be ready. It is the responsibility of mothers to teach  their daughters how they will manage their homes as such project such habits worthy of emulation. She advised.
Hon Comfort while urging the women to be forthcoming called on the men to do the needful.
Contributing, honorable in the making, Zakariya Suleiman contesting for Senatorial District of southern Kaduna acknowledged the opinions put forward by the women as candid ones. Women he said are treasures but are being despised. They are being used. However, 70 percent of women’s problems he said are caused by the women themselves.
 “I recall that of Sarah Jibril’s case when she came out to contest for presidency. She was the only woman that voted for herself despite the fact that women were there. Women appear not to like women.
“I tell you if the women of this country can support a female candidate, we can have a woman president in this country.
Speaking on the recent protest at the national assembly by women on Gender Equality Bill, he has this to say.
Sincerely speaking, any person that is sincere to himself, the five bills that were presented the men would have approved even if it is one but since they did not do that, a person like me if l get to the red chambers, l will be one of the people that will support any bill that is brought by the women.
I was very close to my mother, l have a pet project for women at home. lf l become senator of the federal republic of Nigeria, l will expand their scope, l will empower the women so that they will be able to take care of themselves.
Also contributing, a veteran journalist with the Nigeria Union of Journalists Kaduna, Mr. Andrew Fadason described the author’s efforts as commendable and the issues discussed in the book as germane.
“It is a very good effort. Even though the women need more and more of such exposures, all of us as Nigerians need to hear and discuss issues that have been raised in the book.
Basically the author looked at the problems from the female perspective. Those issues that she has mentioned are wide ranging. They involve everybody. Is not just women that are affected by the issues that she has raised.
Together, both men and women, we can work towards redressing those issues that have been raised. In the book she raised the issue of rejection of women by the society, sometimes high rate of females drop out from school and battering and rape. I think these are societal issues that need to be seen not only from the general perspective but from the perceived perspective of a woman just like the author has done.
Fadason called on the men to have a copy of the book, assimilate and take critical look at issues raised.  Look at where it will seem as if it is a pleasant accusation of what men are not doing or what they are over doing” so that together the men and women will take the initiative to work out modalities to have a body that is rich in such ideas that are necessary for national development and national cohesion. He stressed.
Chairperson Nigerian Association of Women Journalists, NAWOJ, Hajiya Fatima Aliyu commending the author’s efforts said NAWOJ being the voice of women decided to collaborate with the author to magnify her call.
“Women are dying in silence. We are worried, we are in pains. Listening to all the testimonies given by those women, even if you have the devil’s heart you will pity those women. We have a lot of women on the streets, nobody to help them.
We are calling on women to speak out. Many are being molested and cheated. It is only when you speak out that you will see people that will counsel you and tell you what to do. Once you speak out and you are counseled, you will have a way out.
She charged women to exert their worth so as not to be stagnated.
“We are calling on people to please listen to the plights of women. And to those in
authority, out lawmakers, those at the national assembly, the bill that has been signed giving women 35 percent representation should please not be waved. It should be implemented to the letter.
Fatima advised the men to carry the women along no matter how weak they are. They need encouragements to do a lot of things that will ginger and boost them. She said.
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